2-6-7

First of all I thought I deleted he previous blog after I “got it out” as they say. I’m in the middle of writing about my childhood and it all just comes out whenever it wants. Alright. We have been just getting though January, right? Okay. Things are the same and different. Things are better.

Bad Religion

It was shortly after Mother’s absence when I started having to rage on my Father and Brother. Already sad Already furious They expected me to carry on, AND clean up the emotional muck of the Family like I had done when we were all present AND they wanted to tear me down to degrade me

Remember

How hopeful you felt in early 2016? AS IF it was all 2020, As if the last freaking while hasn’t been dreadful. Doesn’t mean it’ll be bad forever. It’ll get better. I don’t know how, but it will.

Glitter

Because of the lies little gay children are taught, I did not believe that there was such a thing as consensual sex between two people of the same sex. EVER. I was told there is no reason for that to ever happen and that there was certainly no happiness to be found. While happiness is

Weight

Wait! I have a better one! (Actual) Story Time. It’s one for the senses. Today, we will hear the story of how I almost fainted in the steam room. It happened this afternoon after my workout. It has never happened before. Usually, I like to pace in the steam room, which only works when there

Tonight’s Dinner

Will be Sushi Paired with more Sushi And tap water And I Better Not Hear Any Shit About It

C.B.

Cynthia Bailey was my least favorite housewife then I saw that she was the “least young”… Looking the way she does, what is she, magic? And She is from ALABAMA WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can’t. And She is not scared of you, as nice and sweet as she looks, she will drop kick you in the tits.

School

What the hell? I’m just going for it- Fuck!-that locker room was gross. The locker room always freaked me out. I was, to my knowledge, the only gay boy in my class, and I was just waiting to be attacked. I never came out, but I was still sure of it. So, I picked the

Mama Said

I was walking down a windy street, lost in a daydream, when I went for it and prayed to my ance-sisters* for help. Their answer was soft and comforting…until, -WHAM!- “He won’t save you.” fell into my head in the correct tone. Then, sadder, “He can’t.” which eased it. Then, darker, “We couldn’t save ourselves.”

Today’s Snack

Will be “Barbecue” “Flavored” “Vienna” “Sausages” Paired with a bowl of Sour Cream and Cheddar chips And Four or five fistfuls of Lemon Jello. Yes I did… “Spoon”?!! What, next you want plates? Get the fuck outta here with that!

C

I never look as good all day as I do at the gym. It’s aggravating because for the rest of the day, I look like shredded wheat. So, I get 2 hours of strength and coordination only to blunder through the rest of my day with my klutzy-ass and my rusted-tin-man-body…? It’s like that, huh?

The Way Back

When I was between 1st and 2nd grade, I was deathly afraid of the dark. What I mean is- I was so freaked out by darkness that at night I would wander off. I would leave our house and start walking, looking for somewhere to hide. Usually, I would end up in the cornfield behind