Beacon

More than once at the Assembly Church, they’d run out of oil in the “fancy” bottle, and they’d break out that Piggly Wiggly Brand Olive Oil. Yes, they did. Yes, they did!They absolutely did that-With-the BS TonguesThey scared the hell outta me.Baptists annoyed meThe Assembly Scared meMethodists Bored meThe Lutherans almost had me, that dragContinue reading “Beacon”

Gon-e

I met Ron Jeremy at the FAIRFIELD INN in Dothan. There was a Courtyard right next door. …..Budgets. I had not seen any of his movies but I had seen Orgazmo. (*Have not. Woof) I knew I recognized him, which I’m sure he gets a LoT. He said, “I’m an actor.” Kinda defensively. I didn’tContinue reading “Gon-e”

Live

I saw these when they came out “JUST STOP THAT TICKING!” It changed my Life “How ’bout Some Ice?” It was with my favorite roommate. We could not get over Her. My Favorite Comedy is where a normal person is driven to go off. I love it. “WILL YOU STOP THE CLOCK WHILE I LOOKContinue reading “Live”

Poll

I am freaked out over Afghanistan. People think I’m all Rah-Rah but no, that was a fiasco. I’m a patriot, not a moron. Just in case you were wondering, I’m just trying to behave. It never should’ve happened. I cannot think about the Women or my Brothers and Sisters, and I CERTAINLY cannot think aboutContinue reading “Poll”

Roar

I have to exercise before I get in the tub! I keep forgetting and I can’t put it off! DAMN IT!-DAMN IT!-DAMN IT! As Shelley Long once said. He was so tired and grouchy this morning he broke down and drank coffee. Yeah, today is MARVELOUS. And now I have to SWEAT. He’s fine, it’sContinue reading “Roar”

True

I don’t know how I know, but Female Sex Workers (most Sex Workers) have no time for homosexual men. I thought it was the “no business” aspect. It’s because the Homos will beat any price.* I don’t know how I know, but it’s true. (Or you know, whatever, if I gotta go there.) (One dayContinue reading “True”

Bull

There were two boys named Zach and Daniel. Zach was in my circle of people. Daniel was big fat jerk. Daniel would find some reason to mock me everytime I saw him, usually in front of other. Classic Jerk Bully. Honestly, nothing super rough just a mean-ass. Zacharias was a fucking Monster. He would waitContinue reading “Bull”

My People

Only respect power. That is IT. I’m not there yet. I’m sorry, damn it. I am trying! That is what I get for slacking off at the gym. It’s fine! We are not done with this conversation. We are not done.

OMG

The term “Reverse Skarsgård” just popped into my head. Tall and Yellow Hair vs Short and Brown Hair. Reverse Skarsgård B-Side Skarsgård Have fun with that. That one hurt.