Alright

Okay Fuck. So, I bombed tonight… on the last show I’m in before Christmas. I was for sure I’d come up with something since I loved her so much. My Stepmom died last weekend. I was sure I had something, Christmas show, I was ready. Everyone else I saw did well. Some good. If I

The Chimney

Isn’t the only thing He’s coming down. (YOU LOVE THAT HOLIDAY SLAM) This is the craziest shit I have even seen, and it is a commercial, Now, it feels like they are outright beaconing me. That was so cool. Cold. Is there a height requirement? Happy Holidays, Merry All. That was something else.

You Already Know…

After seeing the Christmas pictures, tomorrow is a workout day. And a manscaping day. And maybe a finding some super-expired mushrooms day, and a baby sheep sacrifice day, and a RuPaul face-snatcher day. The next million days are workouts day. You better hold that camera up, bitch. Listen to Bop Bop; he loves you. No,

SWISH

I’m watching the Star Wars Holiday Special…this couldn’t have actually happened, right? I’m tripping balls holiday-style…right? (Thank you, Dayton) -That opening looked like a Pizza Hut commercial. -White Walker Wookiee. This cannot be real. Also, I do not speak Wookie, can a bitch get subtitles?! -Who did Luke Skywalker’s base coat? That is incorrect… -And