I came into the mirrored room.

So upset, so angry, and humiliated.

That intro hit my ears like salvation.

Here it comes

The response from my body was immediate

That switch flipped.

*Skips into motion*

It was very Flashdance

Because of the my emotional state, I was able to let go and let the music take me.

I killed it.

I mean, 1980’s empty warehouse killed it.

I spun around three times and I cannot spin.

In fact, most of the time I have trouble knowing where to put my feet. Not today.

There was no doubt. It was if I’d never felt it before.

It was first time in years I had full access to my rhythm and my fierceness at the same time.

Even my Father would’ve given it up for that performance and He hates art. “Show ‘Em.”

I wish I had be able to film it, but, nope.

Damn That was Nice.

Sometimes, you forget who you are.

Show ‘em where it’s at, Miss Harding.


Last Night,

I dreamt of a sanging reality show.

I was in the cheap seats. Duh.

A Girl came on stage and began to slay.

Immediately, just Whitney Houston killing it.

Dead silence from the crowd, they weren’t reacting because the girl was Asian.

I screamed my head off for Her.

and then

“Fuck Them!”

“Fuck Them!”

“Fuck Them!”

And the chant took.

Fuck them. You go.

Bad Religion

It was shortly after Mother’s absence when I started having to rage on my Father and Brother.

Already sad

Already furious

They expected me to carry on, AND clean up the emotional muck of the Family like I had done when we were all present

AND they wanted to tear me down to degrade me so I never saw what was happening or my own importance to the dynamic.


Yes, You did.


Yes, you did.


Does he know men?

it wasn’t their fault, the world goes at kindness with both hands and does it’s best to tear it apart.

So, what would happen when She was around was that they would start, I would be sensitive and sad and She would unleash the thunder when she caught them. You need a woman around. People don’t respect mothers.

Anyway, my Brother caught it first in a big way in a cornfield and when my Dad started laughing I really let him have it, I was screaming and crying so hard at the end I couldn’t breathe.

It had never happened before, I had the dark implulse to lose my temper but I hadn’t on them before.

I think remember exhaustedly telling them to just kill me at the end? I don’t know. I was very dramatic, but I also never agreed to be the one who was shat on for the rest of my life either.

It got to where if I said, “Leave Me Alone” they would. My Brother was stronger but he’s never had my bloodlust, even before I was changed.

Since I am an adult now I know I can remain silent or say, “I need you to leave me alone, please.” And I do. I never just go at anyone. I’d like to be left in peace, what can you do?


I will rail against that toxic male bullshit until I am dead. FUCK YOU. To whoever needs to hear it, you are the reason this world is BULLSHIT. I’m behaving.

Because everyone is better off without the broken thought system.

When you see it, it changes everything. Most men are shitbags.


Both are better people now, I taught them a lot of that without any training, and I never get credit. Not by saying a word but by proving that good is correct by being the best I could.





No big deal… He just works for the only University in the State that Matters.

(We were supposed to make COMIC BOOKS…..You Bitch!-THAT was a joke. We were but we learned a long time ago we wanted se-pa-rate lives. Bog Monsters are notoriously overinvolved in family nonsense, and I do not have the energy.)


Where was I going?

Oh, sometimes you have to be willing to stand up for yourself in a very real way. That hippie hocus pocus about acceptance and stoicism with end up destroying you if you are not careful.


You can’t run from everything. You didn’t start it, but you can always handle your shit, I don’t care who it is.


Love will make you accept some shit you’d never accept, won’t it? It will.

🎶What’d you say?🎶 🎶…She called me fat.🎶

I did ask you to leave me alone, though.

In a respectful tone.

No one listens to me.


Because of the lies little gay children are taught, I did not believe that there was such a thing as consensual sex between two people of the same sex. EVER.

I was told there is no reason for that to ever happen and that there was certainly no happiness to be found.

While happiness is hard to argue because even happy humans are a little sad all the time, but to act like something couldn’t DOESN’T exist because you’ve never seen it is a sin.

There are very good people in the South, but it is this kind of shit that drives me crackers.

In areas with a low population density people get away with all kinds of nonsense.

Ask me how I thought all gay people had AIDS because they were gay, NOT because of sex.

Fucking tragic. They won’t let us near our innocence, will they?

They will NOT.



It isn’t a little slice of Heaven if everyone is walking around miserable.


Hide it under a bushel?



Trying out new workout clothes.

I like the reaction to the pants, only the type I don’t mind looking at me look at me in pants.

I tried some shorts.

They are too short.

My legs are pretty I know that

If people wouldn’t stare it would be nice, it was my own fault.

We’ll see, they are cotton so maybe they will loosen up, the longer ones are En route. (The longer ones were incorrect. it is either too long or too short. I’m looking for pants. Screw it.

We’ll see.

I’m 5×5 so I can wear short stuff but that shit was funny.

Y’all been real nasty, haven’t you?

Yes, you have.

I will pick you up.

I’m behaving

There was One person who looked like me at Golds and I broke down and asked him flat out how much he weighed because I was so bothered.


maybe more, he looked like Hafþór Júlíus.

I was at 250.

I’m working my way back there. I know I look fat again, thank you. Working on that.

We’ll see.

If I could keep this collagen from forsaking me we would be in business but he is 34, now.

I think I’m going to find a new shirt. You can see the waist-trainer, and I am not a fan. Do not like that.

What I do with the marshmallow fluff is my business.

You gotta go to the gym even though it’s always painful and kind of terrible. (or workout with others)

I’m sorry.



Excuse me one moment.

If I was smart, I could have had a HIDDEN CAMERA but he is a moron. Excuse me- FUCK!!!

He’s a moron.

Kevin Williamson

Could Get It

Guess who didn’t know who you were


Said the Scary Looking Man

I didn’t know what a big deal you were.

We should be friends.

It always comes out as sexual aggression I’m just drawn to brilliance.


No. I do not need to defend that smokestack to you.

I see you, Conrad Grayson!

Watching The Faculty thinking, This reminds me of Scream,

I didn’t know.

🎶I saw the li-i-ight🎶 🎶I saw the li-i-ight🎶

No more Darkness. No more Night.

I have to behave.


I said it.

And I’ve never seen or have any interest in seeing Dawson’s Creek or The Vampire Diaries, I do not care.

Complete Strangers

Was the worst

(Check, one, two)

The Worst thing I have ever seen in my life.

I only watched the end,

I can not.

I am incapable,

Because I Cannot.

Older than me in that thirsty bitch underwear

You are not slick.

I’m sorry.

So bad, it was so bad.

The Eyes of Tammy Faye Opening Weekend BAD.

Sorry, Jessica, I love you. That was a joke. Unlike TETF, it wasn’t bad in an entertaining way that you could get into.

As if we don’t have enough straight people projecting those stereotypes on us you’re gonna-

-You know what?? I’m not doing this right now.

I’m sorry, I am genuinely furious right now.

It can’t even be considered an art film!


I’m sorry!



I have a better one!

(Actual) Story Time.

It’s one for the senses.

Today, we will hear the story of how I almost fainted in the steam room.

It happened this afternoon after my workout.

It has never happened before.

Usually, I like to pace in the steam room, which only works when there aren’t others in the steam room.

There were two other people in there today, so I just had to stay still.

After a while, it began to feel better than it usually does, like I was in a bath.

My face was lifted to the ceiling.

And my Head Stopped Working.

Everything above my neck went black.

 I couldn’t see,

I couldn’t hear.

I felt myself slowly sliding down the wall with my right hand.

My legs slowly bent,

and I felt myself sitting on the edge.

It happened so slowly because my body took over.

It was crazy.

I sat down lightly, not knowing that I could sit back, so I sat there on the edge, teetering, not knowing if I should try and stand back up.

I had forgotten myself and my surroundings.

When the Video CAME BACK

I still had no idea where I was for a few seconds. 

“Oh, Shit.” I said, and then “Excuse Me”(which is usually “Pardon Me”, but a bitch was coming back into himself) before getting my dumbass out of the heat.

I don’t think they knew.


A few hours ago.

Don’t die, bitch.

We need you.

Could’ve eaten it TODAY!


Last night, I had a crazy dream.

First, the air all around was lit the blue-gray color of sunset. The feel at first was certainly more horror. Some crazy shit was happening, or had happened and we were trying to stop it or prevent it from happening. I don’t know.

Also, at the beginning of the dream I was merely an unseen observer, not a character.

At first it was all spaceships, even though we were on Earth. It felt like we were in California somewhere. I’ve never been to California, but there it is.

Inside this story was a story about two people. Two men who loved each other but couldn’t make their friendship work at that time and in that place.

One was blonde and pretty, the other an intense brunette. All through this story I was with one or the other while each raced to fix the issue.

The colors in this dream were very early 90’s Lisa Frank. Lots of Pink, Orange and Yellow.

This dream spanned years and huge distances. One minute we were on Earth, the Next somewhere in Space.

What became clear was that it was some type of Body Snatcher Situation and the final battle was starting.

We were in some kind of warehouse.

Now I am able to participate and we are checking this places for Host.

Two Human’s disappeared for just a moment and we found them in the process of being taken.

They (THEM) had a sense of humor about it and basically said, “I knew better than to try right now.”

Suddenly, I am on a beach watching the last of them fail to take over a Host.

While these things are drawing to a close,

I see a spaceship flying beside the Golden Gate Bridge,

And I can hear the two friends finally communicating. They are now in a spaceship.

One says, “I finally did this”

Leading the other to say, “I got my skin smoothed out”

When we pan out one says to the other,

“Sorry I didn’t call you for 15 years.”

AND BAM, Back to the


The Message was not one of anger but of disappointment and contrition.

In fact, for some reason,

The Other had made arrangements for us to go to a new world, far away where we would be free to live as we could not here. There was the smell of magic to it. Past a far away sun, near the edge of the universe.


It was all night, with an intermission when I had to urinate.

I woke UP tired.

I don’t know, I can identify some of it, but no, I do not know.


To this day,

Straight people treat me one way,

Then another when they find out I’m gay.


What is that?

My entire life.

I have learned that whatever their reason is, just let them go. Unless they are important to you, who cares what they think?

This reaction from a loved one is a fucking betrayal.

Did you trust them?

Did you do your best to conform?

You know how some people like to say not everyone can be saved?

Some people never change.

You are fine. Are you alive?

Do you know who you are?

Then you are winning.

You will come out on top, and they will look like the idiots they are.

Don’t let anyone hurt you and that includes mistreating you.

Excuse me,

But you don’t owe anyone a damn thing,

Especailly letting someone weaponize and aspect of your nature against you.

Don’t give them anything,

Don’t let them accuse you of dishonesty.

You’re alright.

Fight Back.

Anything that comes at your optimism must be destroyed.

Mine was a close part of my being. I may not be a happy person, but I am optimistic. I have always been optimistic about the future. Although the last few years have been dreadful, I remain optimistic.

It works.

That shit never goes away though. It is everywhere.

They had it right the first time. You were worthy of their respect before they got smart and you’re worthy of it regardless of their personal preferences, if they are so damn proper, is what it is.

Many times, you earned that respect, I know, fuck them.


I have to go to sleep.

Don’t feel broken though, you’ll always be a little mad.

Maybe not.

I have always been a fed-up old person and I always will be.

Get some rest, you will feel better.


David Archuleta came out. I was waiting on that.

You mean “Should’ve Won?”

Should’ve Won came out.

I don’t think I knew how much I needed that.

You mean instead of that Angel,

It was a vampire looking sucker?



I’m behaving.

He was so cute, I was so bothered.

He is 31!

When did that happen??


It’s fine,

He’s fine.

I like when they seem to be good people.

Aren’t you glad you waited around? He is.

Be nice.

It could’ve never happened.

Most of the time, it doesn’t.

Is so.

It is so.

Yes, it is!


I got a juicer this year.

I am never going back!

You can’t afford not to, is what it is.

When you are rinsing out a glass that has had natural juice in it, you can just use water and it comes right off.

If you rinse out a glass that had soda or store bought juices in it, the side is always grimey,

That was all it took.

Get you a juicer, please.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I always hated eating vegetables before I got healthy. Even now that I like the taste, it is hard for me to get the amount of vegetables I need. The juicer makes it easier. 

Right now I’m working off spinach, pears and pomegranates.

It’s amazing, I just keep winging it and it keeps turning out, I must be a natural. …You like that?

The juice needs to be green.

You are not slick,



When it comes to death and the afterlife, I can admit that I am unsure. I don’t know if there is such a thing as an afterlife. Or an immortal soul. (There is no such thing as death if this a Simulation.)

At one point in my life I was such a true believer in Christianity that I had zero fear of death and zero uncertainty that I would go to Heaven. I knew that I would give up my life to save someone else’s.

The memory of that chills me.

Because my own wants and my own life meant nothing to me.

Some of you will understand why. It’s not that I believed In something wrong it was that I was manipulated into doing so, and later used by the Baptists to further their agenda.

It’s funny how they can dare speak of a gay agenda when their dirty little fingers are in everything from Politics to Junk Food Production, but alright.

I do believe in something more, something other than the randomness and isolation of our lives, but my faith may be baseless. It feels real and genuine, but who knows?

When you put together that we are heading in one direction it makes you wonder.

“If I die” What you meant was “When”

Shit! Who are you tellin? Why I’m still mad the Rapture never happened and They just left me down here to burn with the rest of yo- .

What I meant to say was “TeamWork!”.

Remember when we went through most our existence killing the shit out of each other before anyone could grow wise enough to stop it?. And it just keeps happening? Remember when 30, then 50 were the end of the road? Remember letting people halt medical breakthroughs because science is inherently evil?

America broke my fucking heart.

It’s not the so-called religion

It’s knowing that most of the people who look like me are vile.

The things they believe, about this life and the people in it would turn your stomach.

Whoever you are, whatever you believe, know that everyone wonders. Don’t drive yourself crazy looking for answers you will never find. He said, knowing he is a damn hypocrite. He is the worst about doing that.

I’ll give you something new.

You know what would suck? Being the only ghost that ever existed and just having to hang there until the universe falls apart. OH! No Higher Power, No company, just you. Until BOOP.


Did I think the Rapture would take place before I’d have to experience death? I did. Most Baptists and Assembly people do. Then, you learn that the church uses Revelation and (usually) regionally held beliefs on Armageddon to keep their members in line.

You want to think it matters, all of it, the person you are, your motivations, your choices, but it’s hard to ever really know.

I am a live-wire, like many of you. I’m grateful for every moment I get.

You kinda just hope for the best.

Cosmic Latte

Look up why it is relevant to this subject and thank me later.


Happy New Year.

It was 80 freaking degrees today.

The world is dying while our leaders fuck up after fuck up.

I cannot.

I refuse to let this year be shit.

Not in this trailer park. Not Today.

First of all, you can do whatever you want.

You just have to be ruthless and strong, which you should be anyway.

If you are here you have to be tough. That means a million things.

Kinda wish I could find the right ice shield that would keep this bitch cold in the SUMMER and not tank the whole thing but you know what they say about wanting.

Be great to sunbathe but we have flaming polar bears…so don’t please.

We’re inside bodies here.

Even the hot springs are under ground.

Best not to overthink it.

Hot Drinks are Free.

Kinda wanna bring your own food though.

He doesn’t eat.

Happy New Year.

I have no idea what I am doing this year.

*Insert Mad Laughter*

This year CAN be better.

Fuck them.



Doesn’t matter

We are Moving On.

Is What We are doing.

Have you seen I saw the Devil?

That was something.

What about Misha and the Wolves?

Monica, what the Hell?!

Last Night

I was in Chicago, which is funny because I’ve never seen it. Chances are it was some urban spot I saw that was playing Chicago.

There was a Sporty Spice-type with long dark hair that I had a conversation that I cannot remember.


Later, I was in another place.

There was a team of us traveling around looking for something.


I don’t know how to explain it but that it felt like it was in the southern hemisphere. There was a group of us and we were looking for someone.


I was dropped through a square hole in the top of a building.


The lip had runes all around it.


Inside, you could see the runes on every surface.


There was something dark inside that we needed to help us.


I remember seeing the outline of something that resembled Loki’s Father from Thor.


It was alright.


It’s been a minute since I could carry it back with me.


Very Soul Eater meets A Necessary Evil.


That one was cute. I wish I had seen more.




I Am thinking.

Of shaving my head.

I’ve had the same hair a little too long.

I never do anything with it.

Last night might have been the decider.

You know who is worth a gillion dollars?

Jason Statham.

I know.

Good for You, Honey.

I didn’t even watch those movies because I felt like they were testosterone-traps.

So much money without a wig

So much money.


It is the FATHER that determines the Height of a child.


And I’m understanding the looks my Mother’s Brothers used to give my Dad.


She could be Brienne of Tarth and it would not matter my master plan is FUCKED!

I really needed giant babies but they’ll be a small as me.



I guess I’m just not having babies.

I do have a Brother, now.

A tall brother Now

A tall, skinny brother now.

With my eyes.


I’m behaving.

“I did not sabotage your birth control, that’s insane. So funny!”

But he would know.

I also have a Sister that is exactly the same as me.

With Big Brown Eyes.

We don’t talk about Them.

We try not to think about Them.

I knew I might not have babies in the regular way.

I sure don’t have any money.

2 people, in the middle of a doomed universe that I would do anything for.

It’s so stupid.





Looking Back

I knew I was most likely British





I think English, my Grandfather says Irish, but I think it’s because he finds the English embarrassing. Whatever. We are who we are.



I KNOW it’s not the same thing don’t freaking start.

Where nearly 5% Scandinavian came from? I do not know.

And a 1% chance of being a Ginger,

Ain’t, THAT a Bitch?

First of all, that’s what I get for looking

0% Native American, 0% Asian, just… Dead Eyed Cruelty. I really wanted one of those, no kidding.

I swear to God all I can think of is babies. With a dark eyed tall person who has a shot at giving that child a chin, but we are behaving.

Anything past 90 I feel is funny, I don’t why.

And now I have to do the Ancestry bullshit and find out who these turds were-


The Women of my Family did this.

They did this.

They’re mad I’m broke but pretty damn pleased with who I am.

The men can kiss it, I do not care.

Do NOT CARE. They get plenty of attention.

Warrior Princess or shut the fuck up.

It’s like when I got excited that there was a Pokemon named Chansey

And then THIS struts out-


She is not striking fear in anything but POUND CAKE.

I am behaving.

The first time I felt at home in America was in New England.

Makes sense.

What was I saying?I


No Known Serial Killers

No Known Serial Killers

No Known Serial Killers



Can you guess what my favorite part of Tiger King was?

It’s easy if you know me.

Since I was very young I wanted a jaguar as a pet.

Jaguars are not pets.

They are my favorite.

It’s a Black Jaguar, it has always been a black jaguar.


Natures “I Wish You Would.”

Snow Leopard is a VERY close second, but I think they are all deat.

I don’t even like zoos.

Aquariums aren’t terrible.

Sea World is Wet Tiger King.

I was in a bad place when I started this episode. Season 2 Episode 4.


Hold up.

This is insane.

-Busted Garth Brooks and his Bisexual Vibe.

-Iron Man he is not. I did not like Her. If you’re constantly keeping people in line violent words, the become less effective. People like that work on my nerves, those animals are miserable.

Are you a Preserve? Then shut the fuck up.

The Chimney

Isn’t the only thing

He’s coming down.


This is the craziest shit I have even seen, and it is a commercial,

I see you, Norway

Now, it feels like they are outright beaconing me.

That was so cool. Cold.

Is there a height requirement?

Happy Holidays, Merry All.

That was something else.


Was freaking great.

I just started it randomly and I couldn’t stop.

I understand that there have been some negative reviews,

Give it a shot.

It made me laugh and I’m jaded.

It feels like one of those shows that is horribly underrated.

My Name, Episode 2 (Recap)

This episode opens right up with a fight between Ji-woo and Gang-jae, and it is fantastic. At the end of the first episode, a free-for-all cage match ends with them about to get it on. WHAM. The choreography for this series is out of sight. During this scene, we see nothing held back from either character. What we do see are little flashes of Gang-jae’s true nature in his facial expressions. I thought that was just who he became when he fought. Ummmm. Who’s going to tell him?

Alright, so, she lands him with this sweet spinning-elbow swing, right to his teeth. She knocked him out! You could hear his ears ringing.

When he woke up, and his friend started the humiliating jokes, we knew where it was going. Because that is how it starts. When she APOLOGIZED TO SOOTHE HIS PRIDE, and he didn’t con-grat-u-late her, we knew where this was going. And there it is, there’s the smile.

Gang-jae decides that since Ji-woo beat him like a rug that he’s going to rape her. He had premeditated this by drugging her water. The one guy who spoke out was called a sissy. Next thing, Gang-jae and buddy are in her room. Ji-woo comes half-awake while buddy is trying to undress her, and Gang-jae is sitting there, smiling. She manages to sit up but is pushed down by Gang-jae, who says the standard pervert lines. She knocks buddy off her, and he falls into the shelf holding her Father’s ashes, and everything comes down, shattering. I thought she was going to kill them. Grabbing up a sharp piece of the urn, she shoves it right into buddy’s tenders when he tries to kick her. It was so good. That’s why we keep our parts to ourselves.

This scene was giving me A+ Horror Movie vibes. It was not just the lighting or the expressions. When he came out holding that hammer, the AIR was enough to make you forget she wasn’t about to die. He falls on her, but she sticks his right in the goo (that is what we call gut) before he can kill her.

Later on, in his office, Mu-jin stands before a kneeling Gang-jae. He holds a sword and says, Face, Arm, Leg. (OH, you are SCREWED, buddy-ro.) He gives him the option of which he wants “mangled”, which is broad. Mu-jin knew that Ji-woo would be attacked at least once, but he didn’t think it would be Gang-jae. And he cuts that pretty face.

What we see next is some very mature handling of trauma, with Ji-woo crying it out.

When Tae-ju confronts her about it, she shrugs it off.

There is a killer montage where we see Ji-woo join the police with a time jump from then to now, and the debut of the sickest haircut you’ve ever seen.

Ji-woo is now in the Violent Crimes division, but we see her breaking up a drug deal. Enter Pil-do. WHOOOOOOOOOO. He’s alright, I guess.

Ji-woo tries to detain one of the suspects but is stopped by Pil-do

Next thing I remember, Mu-jin strolls up on a traitor-looking more than alright with that beard. Whaaat? Should’ve gotten a Tesla, but what do I know? That’s only funny if you’ve seen it.

In the next scene, we find out Gi-ho, the man in the hoodie, is (dun dun dun) the CAPTIAN of Narcotics! (GIVE IT TO ME. Icona Pop! I LOVE IT!…..Apologies)

Ji-woo gets on the team. When Ji-woo tells Mu-jin the news, he presents her with his knife. We see a flashback where Dong-hoon saves Mu-jin and Tae-ju.

Pil-do is interrogating their suspect when 🎶There she goes just-a walking down the street🎶But who just got transferred, though?

You think it’s over, right?


Of course, they are partners, and he is annoyed, and she is phenomenal; let’s do this.

Pil-do tells Ji-woo to go inside this building and bring out a man named Mango.

Ji-woo walks into this building, and security gets fresh with her. He throws her up against a wall, and she grabs her riot-wand and lets him have it. Backup arrives, and it is a brawl. It was a hallway full of “Not Tonight”. Pil-do walks down a runway of busted security guards. The last shot is of Ji-woo and Pil-do making eye contact while she is bruising Mangoes.

It’s one of those shows you can’t stop watching.

My Name is streaming on Netflix.

Daughter of a gangster who will stop at nothing to avenge one of her Parents?

Check Please!


Yesterday, I did everything I meant to do except nap and meditate.

They are so important.

Do you sleep well?

I’ve never been the best sleeper.

Here’s to getting it right tomorrow.

Don’t you make fun of me.

No-you-are old.

Stay Safe, Please.

Have a good weekend.

Eat something greasy, I will not tell.

Are you ready for this?

I never played Kirby on SNES.

I was a fan of the cartoon.

So basic. Heaven help me.


He could fly!

He was so sweet until you went there.

The first time I played as Kirby it was on the original Smash Brothers and I loved him more.


Good NightDay.

Of course the hammer is my favorite, it is so funny!


I said Good NightDay!

Ruff Rider

This book is amazing.

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey (2021) by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar

Should NOT be the first book I’ve read like this.

It was not what I was expecting.

You think, 20-or-so essays about a specific-


It’s incredible.

If you can, get the hardcover and audio editions.


The Amber Ruffin Show airs tonight at 9P.M. EST


I went at that workout.

Today, my right tricep is on fire.

Because being healthy is pretty new to me, I still have to deal with some baggage from my former lazy thinking.

I have had arthritis since I was 25.

Basically, it’s

Do I want to be perpetually sore?


Do I want my body to turn against me?

It’s fine.

The first thing.


If you haven’t seen the documentary Alison (2016) – Do yourself a favor.

You can Stream on Amazon Prime.

However you get there, it’s a great movie.

Alison Botha.

I am in love.

I could watch stories of survival all damn day.

Show me what you got.


In Breach, I spoke to one aspect of growing up homosexual. Today I’d like to talk to those who are struggling to bear it.


People who grow up next to culture or large cities have a different experience on the whole. Of course, there are those in cities who have it much worse, I am speaking generally.


Gay kids in small towns have to deal with a different level of ridiculousness.


I actually had a girl I thought was my friend tell me that I was gay because I was possessed by a demon. She was a “new convert”, and I had grown up Baptist. Don’t tell me I am possessed by a demon; I find it offensive.  The statement upset me. And when I tried to calmly explain myself to someone who called me a sinner on our SMOKE BREAK, and she still didn’t listen, I gave up on her completely. Of course, by then, I didn’t believe in demons anyway. 





The List
(When there are no other options)

Unless you are Straight Passing-

Don’t let anyone hear you sing.

Don’t let anyone see you dance.

Learn to defend yourself however you can.

Know that you are strong.

Try not to talk.

Never let anyone touch you.

Stay away from whorish or “complicated” straight men.

Learn to parrot the straight men around you, particularly the “soft” ones.

Don’t tell anyone.

You have to wait.

When you can, get out.

Don’t tell anyone. If they don’t straight out betray your confidence, they will tell someone else who will.

If they make you tell lies, be the best at it. You will live Honestly later.

Never lie to Yourself.

Learn everything you can about your surroundings and blend.

Don’t let them send you away.

Running should be the last thing you do without resources.

One Day, You’re going to Wreck the Closet

Don’t Let Them Hurt You.

Just maintain as best as you can. You’re fine the way you are; some people just haven’t come around yet. I know it doesn’t make it better.

We see you.

Fight Back.

A Day


He could barely do three of these

Yoga is not his favorite. It is so good for your body, he isn’t graceful, don’t stand to close.

Then, he Polished off an Apple.

Oh, Snapple

He Never eats enough of the right stuff.

Next, He Went to the Barbershop.

Left Looking Like-


Came back looking like-


He has got to sleep better, but alright.

He fell right off that diet-

Good Stuff. Those fries were not on brand, but yes, I ate all that clucking chicken.

It has been time for Tea-

Cheers to You.

People should get more than the weekend.

Drives are fun, right?

I hope the rest of Your day is good to You and that Your weekend is great.

Thanks for stopping in.



I’ve already grown used to writing in a decent word processor again and it has been a decade since I had one.

I know I could’ve gotten one between then and now, but you know how it is, you think I’ve got this, and WordPad ain’t so bad. It wasn’t so good either.

(Was I the only one who freakin’ loved WordPerfect?)

However, you get there is your business, and the most important thing is to write.

He should’ve known better and gotten his shiz together way before now. Yes, Mother, I know, thank you. I forgot how much I like to make the whole thing pretty. I’ve been hacking away at the page when I know better. That’s not who I am anyway. As mean as he is, he is incredibly delicate.

He likes it when his words look pretty.

That’s alright

He has this foolish notion that he can save people grief if he states something correctly. (…?)

Please don’t waste the amount of time He did.

Prioritize Your Work.

Because You Are Worth It.

It is finally Autumn, you guys.

I’m wearing it out this year. Join Me, Won’t You?


We are headed out west.

Washington Coast

125 Acres

3 residences

Way too much Money.

You love it.

This is the Guest House
Do whatever you want with it, you know I don’t care
She is very Cute
You could film a movie

I’m not showing it to you…yet.

Is now a Wedding Venue ($$$)
and I better not hear a thing about it.
A Workshop
“I don’t know what that is…”
We’re putting a tub here.

Are you ready?

We’re going in.

The Main House
Normal McAverage


Wear Them Out for their Doubt
Show Them Who You Are
It has been SO long since I had a decent bath. Years. (Don’t you cry, Bitch, you better pretend you’re fine.)
Rolling in the grass like a child
Where are we?
Washington or Norway?
There We Are.

Thank You for Stopping By.

You Rock.

Seriously, go to sleep.

Or Wake Up!


Thank You.



Tonight we are going to

New York

8 Acres

Join me, won’t you?

I see you, Fierceness
She is a Pretty Girl
Oh Damn
I like everything but the furniture.
It is so busy, those walls should be CREAM. I’m behaving. You put the RED marble in the DINNING ROOM. Everyone knows that.
I told you I’d get you that Kitchen. If you don’t like it do whatever you like, you know I don’t care.
White would’ve been alright here.
You Got me POOL??!?
So this will look like a war zone for a minute but yes it can be saved. Blue and White? Whatever…
What are we doing with this? because we are NOT. While I grew up in a single-wide, we are not keeping a bowling alley in our home. Two Words- Trampoline Park

Clap On

Clap Off-

We’ll get there.

You don’t know.

Except ours will be prettier, you watch.


Come with me, won’t you?

We’re going to Virginia.

60 some-odd acres.

I said Hide-and-Seek!
Come On
Show Me What You Got
Good Night
I love that, I NEED IT!
those windows!
Eat it, Martha Stewart
Get out of my Room, Please.
DAMN I Love This
This is my Favorite
You was over there and I was over here. That was the deal
Needs to be redone but, the cheekbones
Meet me Outside, Dear
Not in the Garden that the Gods forgot (Without a Wall?)
Not the Garage
Getting Warmer
There We Are

But does it have a Steam Room?


Going into fifth grade my Father married our Stepmother and we moved into the city. Calling Slocomb a city is like calling Dothan “Birmingham”. Trust me, that killed in Alabama.

We’d been living on my Father’s bosses property in a trailer that belonged to us.

We had love if nothing else.

When our Stepmother entered the picture, all our lives changed for the better. She was not what you would call “nice”, but She remains one of the best people I know. She is a truly good person, and I can never be mad about it. We fought like hell over some serious shit, but she is not messing around and neither am I. She does NOT get the amount of credit she deserves for making all our lives better just by existing.

I didn’t need Tyler Perry to sound off to know what it was like having an old school person ranting about the bullshit of today, that was my life, and I loved it. (We love you, Tyler Perry.)

She could make you cry from laughing.

Alright, so when my Stepmother found us eating out of that Pizza Hut dumpster- I’m Kidding!

We moved into the city right at the end of 4th Grade.

The weeks leading up to my departure, the other kids tried to convince me to stay. My Parents let us choose. My Brother chose Slocomb, so I chose Slocomb not knowing that it was two campuses.

The kids in my class did everything they could to keep me there. I thought they were being ridiculous and frankly I thought since my housing situation had gotten better that I would naturally be around better people. I didn’t say it.

Slowly, the kids lost their resolve.

They started shutting me out. They wouldn’t play with me. They wouldn’t speak to me.

By the last day I was so irritated that when Mrs. Faye said I could leave I stood up and walked out without a word.

The Second kid in roll call was the only one to look at me in disbelief.

Rustin, I love your country ass.


Shut up, Chanzy

Me not saying anything was odd. I don’t know why I did it. We were (mostly) friends and most of it was hard-earned on my part.

The Teacher followed me out to the car, because they used to give a shit about you.

She had brown eyes,

“Are you sure?”

I just sat there, and we left.

If I could see what was about to happen, I never would’ve left Poplar Springs, or the CLASS I would’ve eventually Graduated with.

I would miss all of them very much.

They knew everything and loved me.

Don’t take people for granted, is the point of that one.