First of all I thought I deleted he previous blog after I “got it out” as they say. I’m in the middle of writing about my childhood and it all just comes out whenever it wants.

Alright. We have been just getting though January, right? Okay.

Things are the same and different. Things are better. Last year was as big a turd as 2021. Since I like the number 2 I thought 2020 and 2022 would be good for me and they were not. Working on my shit and getting better.

I’m finally back down to a better weight, seeing results from my workouts again. You gotta exercise. Love Yourself. The only time I ever felt worth anything was when I was in shape. I’ve got a long way to go but I am headed in the right direction and never going back. For those of you who don’t know or don’t remember, I lost over 120 pounds over the course of about 6 years. I did it the right way, the hard way. My diet is still not where it was when I was eating healthy, but I’m trying. Been trying. That being said, I had a cheeseburger and a pizza today. And hot chocolate. Moving on. It really is better.

My Stepmother died in December. It has been odd. I thought I was going to weep for days when she passed on, but I’ve just been in a daze. Frankly, my life was so chaotic when I found out she was gone I immediately knew that with everything else going on that I couldn’t handle it, so I just let it be. It’ll be whatever it is. Crying is the most likely thing I would do but my Stepmother dying has been complicated. Possibly more on that later.

Instead of making any proclamation about the way this year will turn out I’m going to feel blessed to have ever been alive for any amount of time. The year of manic gratitude. None of us have to be here. But we are and it is amazing.

There has never been a better time to be alive. Eat something delicious, get good sleep tonight and wake up refreshed. Be good to yourself.

Will be here more in the coming weeks. Miss you guys.

Oh!!! And it HASN’T BEEN COLD ENOUGH THIS YEAR AND I MAKES ME HATE EVERY-THING! I’m sorry, he did not mean that he is disappointed it hasn’t snowed more and it shouldn’t be so freaking hot at the end of January, but alright. It’s alright.

I hope your doing all right.

Published by Chanzy

He's a mess. What else?

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