Bad Religion

It was shortly after Mother’s absence when I started having to rage on my Father and Brother.

Already sad

Already furious

They expected me to carry on, AND clean up the emotional muck of the Family like I had done when we were all present

AND they wanted to tear me down to degrade me so I never saw what was happening or my own importance to the dynamic.

 

Yes, You did.

 

Yes, you did.

 

Does he know men?

it wasn’t their fault, the world goes at kindness with both hands and does it’s best to tear it apart.

So, what would happen when She was around was that they would start, I would be sensitive and sad and She would unleash the thunder when she caught them. You need a woman around. People don’t respect mothers.

Anyway, my Brother caught it first in a big way in a cornfield and when my Dad started laughing I really let him have it, I was screaming and crying so hard at the end I couldn’t breathe.

It had never happened before, I had the dark implulse to lose my temper but I hadn’t on them before.

I think remember exhaustedly telling them to just kill me at the end? I don’t know. I was very dramatic, but I also never agreed to be the one who was shat on for the rest of my life either.

It got to where if I said, “Leave Me Alone” they would. My Brother was stronger but he’s never had my bloodlust, even before I was changed.

Since I am an adult now I know I can remain silent or say, “I need you to leave me alone, please.” And I do. I never just go at anyone. I’d like to be left in peace, what can you do?

 

I will rail against that toxic male bullshit until I am dead. FUCK YOU. To whoever needs to hear it, you are the reason this world is BULLSHIT. I’m behaving.

Because everyone is better off without the broken thought system.

When you see it, it changes everything. Most men are shitbags.

 

Both are better people now, I taught them a lot of that without any training, and I never get credit. Not by saying a word but by proving that good is correct by being the best I could.

 

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttcccccchhhhh.

AND BOTH OF THEM ARE WORTH MORE MONEY THAN ME!

STILL!!!

No big deal… He just works for the only University in the State that Matters.

(We were supposed to make COMIC BOOKS…..You Bitch!-THAT was a joke. We were but we learned a long time ago we wanted se-pa-rate lives. Bog Monsters are notoriously overinvolved in family nonsense, and I do not have the energy.)

 

Where was I going?

Oh, sometimes you have to be willing to stand up for yourself in a very real way. That hippie hocus pocus about acceptance and stoicism with end up destroying you if you are not careful.

 

You can’t run from everything. You didn’t start it, but you can always handle your shit, I don’t care who it is.

 

Love will make you accept some shit you’d never accept, won’t it? It will.

🎶What’d you say?🎶 🎶…She called me fat.🎶

I did ask you to leave me alone, though.

In a respectful tone.

No one listens to me.

Published by Chanzy

No One from Nowhere

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