In Breach, I spoke to one aspect of growing up homosexual. Today I’d like to talk to those who are struggling to bear it.
People who grow up next to culture or large cities have a different experience on the whole. Of course, there are those in cities who have it much worse, I am speaking generally.
Gay kids in small towns have to deal with a different level of ridiculousness.
I actually had a girl I thought was my friend tell me that I was gay because I was possessed by a demon. She was a “new convert”, and I had grown up Baptist. Don’t tell me I am possessed by a demon; I find it offensive. The statement upset me. And when I tried to calmly explain myself to someone who called me a sinner on our SMOKE BREAK, and she still didn’t listen, I gave up on her completely. Of course, by then, I didn’t believe in demons anyway.
(When there are no other options)
Unless you are Straight Passing-
Don’t let anyone hear you sing.
Don’t let anyone see you dance.
Learn to defend yourself however you can.
Know that you are strong.
Try not to talk.
Never let anyone touch you.
Stay away from whorish or “complicated” straight men.
Learn to parrot the straight men around you, particularly the “soft” ones.
Don’t tell anyone.
You have to wait.
When you can, get out.
Don’t tell anyone. If they don’t straight out betray your confidence, they will tell someone else who will.
If they make you tell lies, be the best at it. You will live Honestly later.
Never lie to Yourself.
Learn everything you can about your surroundings and blend.
Don’t let them send you away.
Running should be the last thing you do without resources.
One Day, You’re going to Wreck the Closet
Don’t Let Them Hurt You.
Just maintain as best as you can. You’re fine the way you are; some people just haven’t come around yet. I know it doesn’t make it better.
We see you.