UP

I keep thinking I’m 30 even though I am aware that I’m not.

People in their late 20’s are alright.

I usually think they’re only a couple of years off, right?

Try SEVEN, you Haggard-Ass Bitch.

He’s Fine.

He is thrilled with every bit of time He gets. And I face the aging thing hard. Everyone in my family acted like their looks were GONE when they turned 30, even though they’ve held up for decades. I resolved not to feel that way early. As soon as my mind lets me feel it, I fight back as hard as I can (and I always will), but I know I’ve just gotta go with some of it.

“ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE, BITCH.”- Molly Shannon

I don’t hate time. I’ve never looked like this or been this happy, and I mean to ride it as long as I can. It feels like I’m just getting started. We’ll see.

I need to be that Hot Old Man, please.

(side rant-What kind of time joke is it that the minute I become comfortable dancing is the exact moment I got to the age where you never want some rando to see you dancing, well or otherwise? Ain’t THAT a bitch? I can’t. I’ll keep to the shadows, but I will be dancing as long as my feet allow. I was going to wear baggy clothes, but if I don’t lean into my build, people won’t engage. It’s fine. You have to be very beautiful to have people watching just your face; I am not a percentage of that bitch. I have trouble looking like I’m having fun. It’s very militant. and if I don’t stay sucked in, it looks like Pregnant Jazzercise, but yeah.)

I was worried I’d like a certain type (young) when I got older; it seemed to be a recurring theme with men. I’ll tell you what, your tastes age with you.

Conrad Grayson in a speedo that is all I am saying. Conrad Grayson in a speedo.

I could die HAPPY.

Behave!

Only one person would really make me happy in a speedo, and he won’t wear one.

I have tried!

But because it will make me happy, you know. Thanks a lot, Gay Marriage.

That poor man gets it unfiltered.

He loves it.

It’s fine.

He’s fine.