1. I am so sorry and I’ve been sorry since it happened.

This is something I meant to do long before now. I saw something happen and I never said anything to anyone. I saw this happen with my own eyes. Here we go. 

One day, near the end of a school year (or a break), the other kids and I were killing time. We were all in groups doing various time-killing activities. 

We were in my favorite class. What made it my favorite was the subject matter and the HOT AS FIRE teacher. We all wanted to bang him. TO A PERSON, we all wanted some of that. Don’t start. I wanted him to take me home and keep me under the bed. He was the spank bank for almost a year-and-a-half.

So we are all sitting around talking, and the teacher started passing notes with a hard-looking pretty girl. Of course, I saw it, and– I knew what was up. If anything, I was jealous I couldn’t get his attention like that. Needless to say, I didn’t see what was really happening because I didn’t actually understand that they were not joking.

That shit went on for a minute, and it was escalating, evidenced by the smiling and flushing.

Alright, it’s about to get rough. 

There were only two boys in my class who had it worse than me. One had been the “loser” since freaking Kindergarten. I think it was because his hair was VERY red. I wish I were kidding. I could never see anything wrong with him except that he wanted their respect. You can’t care about people like that. The Other was a boy somehow unfortunate enough to grow up out in the woods like I did, without ever moving “in town”, without an ounce of muscle and without my unearned confidence. You fuckers were EVIL. And I did not help.

The Ginger was with me in this class and had noticed the same thing.

When the girl went to pass the note back to the teacher, he snatched it and tried to read it.

The man I had thought was attractive stood up, red-faced and backed this kid (under his PROTECTION) across the room and up against the freaking WALL, all the while screaming in his face.

He started so slow I thought he was going to jump on him, he jumped and spun around casually and confidently-


In his Face-


The kid is red everywhere, instinctively looking away, trying to disappear-


The back of his head hit the wall, hard-


The last part was the loudest-


First of all, we were in MiDDle SCHOOL, not Highschool, but alright. That mess was traumatic just to witness. He was macking on an eighth-grader.

I wish he would try the 34-year-old me.

You may not know this, but one thing I cannot stand is when strong people use that strength to harm weaker people instead of shielding them, which is why people are made strong in the first place.

Brutality has its place, and this was not it.

That I ever thought this man was attractive was immediately disorienting.

He actually had the nerve to sit right back down across from the girl. 

I couldn’t stop looking at him. 

I couldn’t even look in the direction of the kid. 

I understand he was disrespectful, but what this man was doing was beyond disrespectful and his reaction to his anger was unacceptable, to say the least, especially because it was him knowing he was guilty.

He saw me staring at him and gave me a mean look, thinking I’d melt or something.

I looked him dead in the face and said something topical and cutting. He got sour and clamped down on it. I couldn’t take him but I also knew that if he tried that nonsense with me he would have been fucked by the end of the day.

All I would have to do was tell the truth.

But it was already over.

(come to think about it, I did tell my Dad, basically trying to get him to do me a favor and beat his ass, but when he realized I hadn’t been threatened, and I hadn’t actually tried to intervene, he checked out. He basically said if I really wanted him to hurt him I would’ve jumped on him myself. No, I get it. I was right there. When I was describing the scene I told the truth about what I saw. He said, “He turned his back to you?” I had the shot, I just didn’t take it. That was the type if mess I was specifically supposed to prevent, especially with the weak. I had every bit of permission to berserk on evil shit, regardless of the situation, and I just didn’t. I assume it was because I liked him. And his reaction to a minor had frightened me on two fronts.)

I regret not throwing some desks. 

Is the main regret of that piece. 

He would never have done it to a popular kid or a kid with any friends, period.

What had happened was he’d been inappropriate with one student in a flirtatious manner and physically (and verbally) assaulted the other.

THAT is what happened.

Always be good, if you can.

Rank Up on those Dead-Eyed Bastards.

It is all they understand.

Being strong is meaningless if you can’t get your hands dirty.

Learn from my failure, It will never be okay.

It won’t.

It will not.

It will never be okay.


BopBop has to catch up in the Office, but he loves you and he will be available again soon.


Published by Chanzy

He's a mess. What else?

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