I used to swim in rivers in the rural panhandle.

People talk about Aligators and Water-moccasins but they miss the Gar. Those Hillbilly Piranha?

Oh my God, you never know what the river will feel like when you get in it which is weird for my OCD but alright.

I love to swim. I always have.

I would stay under so long it would worry people.

I swam on the bottom of the water so I could use the motion in my upswim.

We used to fight, me and everyone about who was the best.

My ultimate goal was to swim across Holmes Creek in one puff.

It was one of the larger spots depending on the day.

Never happened, obviously, -But!

At my peak river swimming, I could get just over halfway on one puff, and it was incredible. Any River. And if I couldn’t I tried all day until I could. I loved it, especially when it didn’t reek.

My Brother saw it and was so impressed he got worried and that is my freaking FAVORITE. YES.

It is a fact that I did take it in two puffs and boss out of the water. Then I was immediately fatigued. I went into a gay panic when I realized I’d have no choice but to swim back. It was so overwhelming that I knew if I tried to swim while looking ahead I’d drown. Since I was already stimulated, the monster took over. Instead of diving, I walked in. When I had to kick off, I faced where I was leaving. Using my legs, I kicked across to the other side. It seemed longer and was more painful than I imagined, but I did Make It.

There aren’t springs around here like back home. THAT is where it’s at. (Spring Swimming) If they accept my bid for Cypress Springs I could find happiness in the Panhandle Wilds.

No, I didn’t wear goggles. It was as if no one had seen a pair. You can see underwater, just not great. River water doesn’t fuck you up like pool water.

Trust Me.

I’m white about this.

You know you love it.

People say “fun” like they


jumped out of a tree into the river.

We are not the same.

Published by Chanzy

He's a mess. What else?

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