When I was home for Father’s Day, we had to drive down lots of country roads. We were in between Florida and Alabama, out in the ether, and something occurred to me.

I said, “You would think that being out here, it would be hard to find someone…” I was talking about homosexual intercourse, “but it is everywhere.”.

He laughed it off because, “What else is there to do?”. It’s a valid point, but he knows I’m right. Most people would look at the area I grew up in and assume that there weren’t any gay people.

For a population who wouldn’t identify as homo, there’s some incredibly gay shit going on down the backroads.

It’s an old rant of mine. Gay people should steer clear of straight people. Sexually, anyway. I said it. I’ve never understood my gay brother’s fascination with straight men. (“straight”)

Here’s the issue with having sex with people who don’t identify as gay- Everything is fine so long as you’re the gay one. THEY are just there, YOU are the one having fun. Please don’t get me started on this selfish type of fuckwad.

Long before I left home, probably a year after I left high school, I decided to never “be around” men who identified as straight. As much fun as is possible, which is NOT as much as you think, they will hurt you. If not in the millions of bad ways, they will overdo it in a way that messes you up. It’s just a waste of time when there are straight passing homos. They aren’t my type either, but, you go girl.

You’d think, growing up with mostly men and being disgusted at the way they treated women, I’d know better. Nope. It’s something you have to learn.

One thing I’ve never been able to do is to detach my emotions from sexual intimacy. I think everyone wants that ability. They should make a pill for that.

Unfortunately, when you’re passionate, the only thing you’ll do is make someone (who doesn’t even understand you) think of you fondly. If they are not gay, they CANNOT appreciate you. Do you really want to go through all that, so someone ELSE has good memories? You deserve someone who isn’t afraid. You won’t need a favor that bad.

Before I left home, two different good-looking boys I went to school with tried to convince me to “just get married” and carry on with them behind the scenes. (One right out of high school, one before I left Alabama.) One was drunk; ONE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE. I don’t even remember their faces or names because it hurt my soul to witness. I also don’t believe in outing people. All I hope is that they found happiness.

I was a virgin all through high school because I was a control freak. I thought I was the last person in my class to lose my virginity. I was not. I should have waited. I gave up. Life was terrible, and I was tired of making it worse. I wish I had never done it, but I did. You look around you, and no one is your type, and no one is happy, and you give up. I should’ve held out, but whatever.

All I wanted, even as a young man, was a good relationship with a decent person.

Having sex with someone you don’t care about is gross. Having sex with someone who can’t care about you is worse.

Don’t waste your time. You don’t get it back.

We didn’t even START on how “straight” men spread sexual diseases then blame it on women and gays. Don’t start.

It’ll happen. You’ll be happy. Then, you’ll really be sorry.

Break someone’s heart who loves you and live with that shit.

Published by Chanzy

He's a mess. What else?

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