I’m afraid to say this, because it keeps on coming, but Saturday was the worst night’s sleep of my life. I had so many nightmares. Worse, I kept having “waking” dreams in between that fooled me into thinking I was safe.
——————————The Details————————-
1st Round-
I was in the car with two people I loved equally and one started assaulting the other, punching them brutally in the face. I grabbed the assailant’s hand and stopped it. This person immediately acted like I was hurting them. Like a rational person I tried to explain, but I knew it was useless as in their thinking, I had betrayed them. I knew they would hurt me for my interference.
2nd–
I “woke up” in my bedroom, got out of bed, looked in my bathroom mirror and saw a wicked looking cut in the shape of a backwards “C” on my right pec.
3rd–
I “woke up” in some crazy reality where I was in an adopted family and I was trying to describe my previous dream. I look down and there was a huge death-black spot on my thigh meat. (it was some sort of plague(?)) Then the spot disappeared. In this dream there was some pretty guy who I thought was my adopted brother but it felt weird between us.
4th–
I “woke up” again in my real bed in my real house but I was STILL dreaming. In this dreamscape my Husband woke up, saw I was awake, and walked right past me without a good morning. That is incorrect…Not so much a nightmare as uncomfortable.
***************LET ME FINISH***************
Intermission– I actually woke up and saw Him asleep next to me and I had to touch him to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I felt tears in my eyes because I felt crazy. I know the feeling. I *somehow* went right back to sleep.
*********************************************
5th–
I “woke up” back into the same dream with the adopted family. This time, the pretty “brother” and I were in my bathroom and he was showering. I was asking him over and over if we were adopted brothers or if we were “together” becoming more and more freaked out. He kept saying “Yes.”… just- “Yes”, as he pulled on his black underwear with hot pink piping. I. Was. Horrified. I am not Woody-Fucking-Allen.
*********************************************
When I finally woke up the last time I just froze in place staring ahead, afraid to move or trust my senses. My Husband came into the room and I asked him entirely non-ironically,
“Am I awake?”
I realized I was finally actually awake… and free. I am not a someone who cries but I shed some tears over that mess.
I got right the fuck out of bed.
I was afraid what’s left of my hair was going to be white.
The vivid imagination and good memory aren’t always great…
Ever wonder what happens if you actually die in your sleep during a horrible nightmare? Because I have. I assume you’re trapped there forever. NO, THANK YOU.
I saw the earth destroyed in my dreams long before I saw Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And much more violently, I might add. I was in space….Front row.
🤞I need tonight to be better or at least not as bad🤞
Big Money Big Money!
Chantarctica 